If we are choosing job descriptions – does “Self-employed Freeloader” come to mind?

Brent and I met with our insurance guy this morning to review our life insurance policies. We were chatting policy amounts, health status, and existing employment benefits (a real riveting conversation). Without really thinking, I jokingly referred to myself as a “self-employed freeloader”. Brent and I laughed and our insurance guy hesitantly chuckled (lets be real, he doesn’t know us that well so it was probably an appropriate response on his part).

Now, to be clear, I don’t actually think of myself as a “self-employed freeloader”. I am incredibly happy with the growth of my business since deciding to become a creative entrepreneur. My joking self-identification did however remind me of a constant internal struggle that I face regarding the ways I spend my days. When I first left my full-time job to pursue photography I felt guilty for no longer being a commuting buddy with Brent each day. In fact, I would get up when he got up each morning and push myself to get to my computer before he even made it out the door. Partly because I wanted him to know that I wasn’t laying around all day in my pyjamas (even though I know he never worried about that), but more so because I needed to prove to myself that I had the dedication to be successful in my new reality.

What I have learned though, is that being a creative entrepreneur does not have regular office hours. So being at my desk for a “regular person work day” doesn’t take into account that so much of my work happens in the evenings (for client meetings and engagement session) or pretty much every weekend through the summer and fall. My guilt over Costco shopping trips on a Monday afternoon was silly, because when the hell else was I going to go? It took me a really long time to realize that making time for myself wasn’t likely going to happen on a Saturday afternoon, so it was totally okay to make time for it on a Wednesday morning.

Since it is slow season in the wedding photography biz – I am trying to remind myself that it is okay to enjoy the downtime, work on projects, catch up with friends, and get myself creatively inspired and fired-up for the coming season. I just need to convince myself that it is okay to enjoy a bit of calm before I get into the wedding season hustle!

So now that I have checked Review Life Insurance and Write Blog Post off my Friday to-do list, I guess I will change back into my track pants and start painting the canvas I bought for the stairwell. If anyone needs me I will be downstairs getting creative and reminding myself every few minutes that this is totally okay!

xo Brittany